Joshua looked at the remnants of the broken beer bottle in his hand and a thought flashed through his mind like the lightning-quick movement that had broken it. How the fuck did I get here? Before he finished his monologue and answered himself, the Big Man’s fist hit him. Everything went black.
***
Three days earlier.
“Listen man, it’s not like I’ve had a bad year. I just haven’t had a particularly good one, if you know what I mean. I haven’t done anything important. Nothing exciting, y’know?”
“I get it. I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Let’s just go to Judy’s party. Jacob said he’d give us a ride back home if we get too smashed.” Jimmy was in love with Judy, but would never admit it to anybody. Joshua knew it, but tried not to tease him too much – Jimmy was a sensitive guy. He decided not to tease him this time and continued digging the hole for the pine tree sapling that Jimmy was getting ready to plant.
“We go to Judy’s party every year. And besides, it’s not like we can’t show up fashionably late,” he said it with class, “Her parties always go on until after dawn.” Joshua was sweating now. He hated the feeling of sweat running down his ass crack and took a break from digging to wipe the sweat from his body. He lit a hand rolled cigarette and leaned on his shovel. “Look, Jimmy, let’s just go out to The Hole for a couple of drinks. We can leave at eleven and still make it to Judy’s in time for the count down. Maybe this year she’ll kiss you.”
“You say that like I’ve asked her before,” Jimmy said, looking up from his sapling.
“The problem is that you haven’t asked her before, Jimbo,” Joshua took a drag of his cigarette and continued speaking through smoke. “You never know until you try. What I’m saying is maybe you need a little liquid courage before we get there, is all.”
“Alright, man. Let’s just get this yard done. That hole’s almost dug. I’ll finish digging; you start on the lawn in the back.”
***
The next two days went by without much incident. Jimmy and Joshua worked on a couple of small landscaping jobs they had going on and finished painting Mrs. Jankowsi’s kitchen. They did the kitchen for free, but she insisted on giving them a couple hundred bucks for the speedy work. Jimmy tried to change his mind about going to The Hole a couple of times, but Joshua always got him to stick to the plan.
When the 31st finally arrived, Joshua rolled out of bed at one in the afternoon with a mild hangover – he liked to get things started early. He called Jimmy and got him to stop at the liquor store on his way over – he really liked to get things started early. Joshua rolled himself 20 cigarettes; just in case. Sometimes he finished them all before the night was over and ended up having to poison himself with what he called ‘corporate control-sticks.’
By the time Jimmy showed up Joshua was almost done rolling his cigarettes. Jimmy opened a couple of beers and they downed them, and then started on seconds.
“So, Jimbo. Here’s what I’m thinking: we head over to The Hole at around three – in… what? About an hour – and we have a few drinks, maybe play some pool. No, no, don’t worry; I’m not in the mood to play for money. We can get something to eat from their kitchen – did you know they opened their kitchen again? – anyway, I’m hoping that pretty lady’s working behind the bar again tonight. What should I wear?”
“Josh, calm down. We’ll just wing it, yeah?”
“I know, I know. I just wanna make this a great night, man. End the year with a bang, y’know? Make it memorable.”
“We’ll make it memorable. Just don’t go too crazy at The Hole. Judy’s always got a couple of kegs waiting for us at her party.” Jimmy had finished his beer and was opening a couple more for him and Joshua.
Sarcastically, Joshua chastised him, “I thought you said not to go crazy; now you’re opening more beers.”
“Well, if you don’t want it – ”
“I never said that! Give it here. But don’t worry, man. I won’t drink too much until we get to Judy’s. Just a little starter. A little pick me up.”
“Well, make sure not to drink too much. I don’t wanna have to literally pick you up.”
“Ain’t that the truth?”
***
Joshua and Jimmy arrived at The Hole without incident. Jimmy’s got a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, and he always drives safely, but they almost got pulled over. Luckily, the cop turned off before he got a chance to get suspicious. They pulled into The Hole’s parking lot and parked near the exit. Jimmy was busy locking up the car and checking his hair wallet, so Joshua went ahead. A man was standing outside talking on his cell phone, staring blankly at Joshua.
“Take a picture, buddy, it’ll last longer.” Joshua was already a little drunk from the beers him and Jimmy had had earlier, and even sober he wasn’t the type of person to take any hostility from strangers.
“Shut up, asshole, I’m not staring at you.” The guy was pretty big, but Joshua wasn’t about to just give up.
“Oh. I must be made of glass, then. Were you staring at the guy behind? Oh, wait. Nobody’s behind me.”
“Just fuck off.” The Big Man looked like he wasn’t interested, and Jimmy had just shown up, so Joshua forgot about it and went inside.
Jimmy ordered the first round, and Joshua got the second round at the same time ‘cause they’d already finished the first beers before the bar lady brought their change. They started a game of pool, just playing against each other.
***
By about 10:30PM, Joshua was pretty far gone. Jimmy was a little drunk, but still okay; still pretty level-headed. Noticing the time, Jimmy figured it’d be a good time to head out.
“Hey, Josh. Let’s get going. We promised Judy we’d show, remember?” He didn’t want to sound desperate, but he also didn’t really like the idea of staying at The Hole for too much longer.
“Hold on a sec, man. I wanna talk to that girl there. She’s been looking at me for the past hour.” Joshua pointed at a cute brunette sitting alone outside.
“Don’t kid yourself, man. I’m pretty sure she’s got a boyfriend. I saw a guy sitting there with her earlier. Let’s just get going.”
“Naw, man. Go ahead without me. I’ll catch a cab. Maybe I’ll get to bring her along.”
“Sure. Just don’t take too long.”
Joshua took a long pull from his beer, lit one of his hand rolled cigarettes, and walked up to the girl. He chatted with her a little while, and they seemed to be hitting it off. Until her boyfriend showed up. Joshua turned around to see the Big Man standing behind him with what seemed to be an expression of anger painted on his face.
“You. What the fuck do you think you’re doing talking to my girl, you little twerp?” The Big Man didn’t look like he actually wanted an answer from Joshua – just a hasty retreat. Joshua wasn’t that type of guy, though.
“What the fuck does it look like? I’m talking. You big twerp.” Joshua answered him, mocking his expletive by emphasizing the word. He immediately started to regret his decision to stand up the Big Man as he was shoved backwards. “Look, man. I’m not in the mood for a fight. I’m a bit drunk. I’m sorry. I’ll go.”
“Yeah, of course. Pussy.”
Joshua broke his beer bottle.
***
The 1st
Joshua awoke in his bed with what felt like a combination of a hangover and a good beating, which is exactly what he was feeling. His face felt broken, his head was pounding, his stomach was growling, his throat felt like sandpaper.
“You look like shit, man.” Jimmy’s voice sounded like a thousand thunder storms in the middle of a library. “I was a bit worried about you, so I came back to take a look. Some big guy said you tried to pick a fight with him and he had to take you out. Here, drink some water. You were pretty gone last night, man.”
“Thanks. I’m sorry I ruined your plans to go to Judy’s.” Joshua sat up and tried to swallow some of the water. He coughed half of it back up.
“Oh, no. Nothing was ruined. I ended up at her place before I came down to check on you. She left Jill in charge at the party and came with me. We kissed at midnight.” Jimmy was smiling, but trying not to look too happy, considering how badly his friend was bruised up. “Best New Years Eve I could’ve asked for. Looks like your plan worked out just fine. For me, anyway.”
“Ain’t that the truth?”
Joshua could already tell; 2012 would be a good year.
